I spent a lot of years battling several mental disorders and was on even more medication. I’ve spent time in hospitals because of suicidal and homicidal thoughts. I felt like I was alone and nobody understood me. For years all I wanted to do was just end it. Not one doctor ever told me to seek Jesus. They just gave me medicine to help. After I planned to end it myself, I finally hit my knees and said God if you are real I need you man. I’ve got a mountain on my chest and I want it gone. Then I noticed a little pocket sized New Testament Bible in my house. I’ve no idea how it got there but out of spite I picked it up and opened it randomly and began to read just a few lines about love and forgiveness. I closed it and thought that was just a coincidence. The next day I opened it again to a different place in read more about how much I was loved by Jesus. I continued this every day until I read the whole thing. I began to pray every day and over time I started journaling and I realized the mountain was being moved one stone at a time. The noise in my head was gone and I talked to my doctors about getting off the medicine because of the side affects. Now I have read the entire Bible almost 2 times and I have a hunger for a daily relationship with Jesus and I’m reading several Christian books when I never read a book in my entire life. My family picked out a church we have been going to and we absolutely love it. And now I am helping teach Sunday school classes and signed up to help teach youth for VBS this summer.
I know this was supposed to be short and I apologize. But maybe this will inspire someone who is lost. All of this did not happen over night. It was also really nothing I did other than just barley crack open my hardened heart and invite Jesus in and it was Jesus who lifted the mountain off me one stone at a time. I am off medicine now and feel better than I ever have and it is only because of the love of Jesus. I have now stepped into my calling of pastoring and was just voted in to be interim Youth Pastor! So, I will praise him with every breath from now until eternity. I no longer believe in coincidences. I know Jesus is The Way The Truth and The Life. And bad things still happen and the enemy still attacks me really hard but Jesus gives me a peace that goes beyond understanding and I can weather the storm with him holding my hand.
I have the mindset that this too shall pass and just focus on Jesus. I can truly say I Am ALTARed. The Old Man is Dead and I have a new identity in Christ. It is no longer I who live. It’s Christ who lives in me.
Jimmy J. -